OT...

Current Princeton Temp: 36
Currently Wishing: That the OT Midterm would be DONE!

When I get overwhelmed, or stressed, or frustrated I tend to just stop. I stop working, thinking, writing, reading, doing until I can find some kind of outlet. This outlet usually involves tears. I have an Old Testament midterm on Tuesday morning at 8:00. In case you've never picked up the Old Testament, there's a lot there to be learned. Welcome to my life.

I sat in the choir concert last night, listening to the Seminary Singers sing "Sicut Cervus." As I listened and sang along in my head (since I know the song by heart from having learned it this summer to sing in Italy with the Santa Barbara Choral Society) I also fought back intense anger and frustration (and more tears). Why? Well, here's the thing: I got into Seminary Singers this year, back when we all auditioned for choir. Martin Tel, the choir director, doesn't cut people from Chapel Choir, but he has always had a group that comes out of it, called Seminary Singers which is done by audition. This year, there were too many people so he simply created Seminary Singers into a completely different, separate, by-audition choir of a mere 20 people...and to my complete and utter surprise, I got into it. I was ecstatic. But, due to previous commitments I had made for this past weekend (which was also the weekend of our fall concert), I chose to give it up and sing in Chapel Choir for the fall semester or until someone (an alto, that is) decided to leave Seminary Singers at which point Martin had agreed to place me at the top of the list so I'd be the first one to go back in.

Based on the fact that I was in the concert, you could deduce that my plans for this weekend fell through. I was terribly upset, for more than one reason. Not only was I missing the chance to be in Santa Barbara sooner rather than later, be at a friend's wedding, and see my mom and friends close to my birthday, I also was giving up this chance to sing "Sicut Cervus" again and as part of a small, wonderful group. And it brought back this flood of emotion and memories from this summer, of good times spent with wonderful friends, traveling to far-away places, singing in the most gorgeous of spaces, and of course, eating gelato.

All good memories aside, I made it through the concert, including my solo in one of the most beautiful songs I've ever sung, and made it to get ice cream afterward. I have to admit though, I'm glad this weekend is over. And I'll be even more so when Tuesday morning is over. (Prayers would be appreciated to that end.)





"Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it." -Albert Smith